Thankful.

Got back from Long Beach on Sunday morning. I was suppose to get back on Saturday night but certain circumstances caused me to stay another night. It was cool though because I got to hang out with Char and Escano.

Long Beach Recap:
I won't go into details but I'll list things that I did.

-Northridge and CSUN with Andrew and Alex.
-KBBQ with Andrew and Orlie. Then later in the week with Christine, Andrew, Geronimo and his friend.
-Apartment hunting with Andrew and Christine. Found our place :).
-Ate at Zephyr (vegetarian cafe) with James. Went there for dinner and then lunch the next day.
-Beach with James. Went twice as well.
-Grocery shopping with James, more than once.
-Watched "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" and "The Ugly Truth" with James.
-Yogurtland with Charlynne, her brother and her brother's friend.

What this blog is really about..
I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for being alive. I'm thankful for my family and the family that I have. I'm thankful for the friends that I've had that have come and gone and the one's that are still here. I'm thankful for being able to sing and actually have some talent. I'm thankful for having music be such a big part of my life and being able to say that I'm an alumnus of one of the top choirs in the state. I'm thankful for getting into college and doing well in a new city and being okay away from my family. I'm thankful for having been in love twice and experiencing what it feels like to break someone's heart and get heart broken because it's taught me to appreciate how important loving someone is.

But..even with all these things to be thankful for..I'm still lost and I still think negative from time to time. Which makes me feel extremely guilty. I have NOTHING to complain about. My life is normal, my life is better off than a lot of other people out there and yet I'm still not completely satisfied with it. And the reason for that is simply..I'm lonely. I miss having that person to confide in. I miss having that one person you know who will always be there no matter what. I miss having that one person I can call in the middle of the night who would answer and listen to me cry, even if that's all I did. I miss having that one person who would just hold me when everything else in my life seemed to be going wrong. And what sucks is..I don't even want to be in a relationship for a long time to come because even though I miss all of this and even though I'm lonely..it's hard work and I don't think my heart can take that much pain again.

Oh I'm not sad btw. Just venting how I've been feeling lately and where my heart and head is at.

Until next time.

Love, Me.